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Friday, 18 November 2011

The Children Really Are So Very Much In Need

Tears are just streaming down my face watching this year's Children In Need's 'why to donate' VTs.

How can we just carry on each of our often trivial lives, when SO many children are so desperately needing our help.

The VT that has touched me to my core this evening has been the story of brave 10 year old Elliot Wild of Liverpool.

Elliot tragically lost his battle with Leukaemia earlier this year. His mum told his incredible story a few moments ago on Children in Need and I am just blown away by his, and her bravery.

The Wild family were so wonderfully helped through Elliot's final week's by Claire House on the Wirral. http://www.claire-house.org.uk/?content=hospice

Please support this, along with countless other worthy causes by donating to tonight's Children In Need fundraiser.

Now in it's 31st year in a telephone format, it raises millions each year for those thousands of innocents in the UK each year who are so desperately in need of help and support.

Please, if you are in any position to do so, call 03457 332233 or go to http://www.bbc.co.uk/pudsey/donate/

Turn to BBC 1 and you will need no more words of persuasion!




Thursday, 17 November 2011

Quite A Week

Apologies for my absence yesterday, but I was a little under-the-weather in a sense that was not just my usual increased pain and Arachnoiditis symptoms.
To give you a brief catch up on this week's events, the previous day- Tuesday, was our much anticipated first appointment with a specialist to establish whether I will be capable of conceiving and carrying a baby with my spinal injury and subsequent surgery, along with my degenerative neurological condition.
Well it may be only the first step along a very long and testing road indeed, but it was a steady step in the right direction at least and whatever the outcome, establishing the facts is most definitely a positive thing for Garry and I after so many years of speculation and concern.
The expertise of the consultant with whom we met, was maternal medicine, and this kind and informative doctor primarily helped us to learn of the risks associated with the medication that I have no choice but to take throughout any potential pregnancy.
For me the most shocking and upsetting revelation, came in my husband and I learning that should we proceed with any pregnancy in the future, then our baby would be subjected to morphine through the placenta and would require treatment for the withdrawal of said morphine once the poor little mite had entered the world. This addiction would naturally cause discomfort and the possibility of respiratory symptoms or seizures, although we were also reassured that as they would be aware of and monitoring this situation from the offing, then these risks would be minimised as much as is at all possible.
Wow! What a lot to take in; and that's only one element of the problems with any potential pregnancy!
I knew this road would be a difficult and draining one, but I must keep reminding myself that whatever the future may hold in this respect, then it is important for Garry and I to learn of the truth so that we can move on from this difficult limbo period, and perpetual feeling of 'what if'?
I'm afraid that even writing about this situation is draining for me right now and with that thought I hope that you'll excuse me to escape to my slumber!
Bed is calling me. Thoughts are whirring around my head like bumble bees drunk on summer sunshine and
I pray that sleep is not far away.
I am also this evening racked with worry for my four legged baby, ( Barley dog), who I have this evening found to have two lumps directly below his eye.
The sickness I am feeling in the pit of my stomach at the worry that anything may be wrong with my boy, only goes to show how much I adore and live for this faithful, four-legged companion, who has selflessly kept me going through the darkest of times and whom I regard as my baby boy himself!
Weird maybe, to those non-pet lovers amongst you- but to those of you who have ever shared a bond with such a charming creature, I'm sure you appreciate the parent like responsibility and worry that I am feeling for my little Barls right now.
I love him with all my heart and pray to God that he is well.
On that note, I'm off to give him one more cuddle before my eyelids give out on me!
Night night... 



Tuesday, 15 November 2011

The Luck of The Irish

Hi guys, apologies for the late post this evening, (or early morning as it is now!), but I have had an extremely busy and draining day which I will focus a little more upon in tomorrow's full blog post.
In the meantime I will leave you with today's Reason to Smile.
Those of you who have read even a handful of my posts so far, will be well aware of my love for dogs and Golden Retrievers in particular.


This love affair began when I got my own dog Barley, who has helped me so much emotionally through the darkest times of the last five years. The reason that my husband and I got a Golden Retriever over any other breed, is due to the fact that he grew up with Goldens, and his sister still even has two of her own to this day.
Both of my sister-in-laws dogs are rescued and the youngest and most recently rescued came from the wonderful charity Irish Retriever Rescue. http://www.irishretrieverrescue.com/
 Digby is missing his front left leg from the shoulder down, yet does an incredible job of out-running his sister and younger cousin Barley!
How he has adapted and overcome the problems bestowed unto him, is so wonderful to see and just shows how when there is no choice but to keep going through life, animals and people alike can achieve and overcome some incredible challenges and difficulties!
The thing that made my sister-in-law's dog's struggle come to mind this evening, was this attachment sent to me by my husband this morning. 
If you do not melt at the sight of these pictures, then you have a very cold hard indeed!
I introduce you to the incredible Monty, formerly known as Grant, (very odd name for a puppy!).
Like my sister-in-law's dog, Grant has to deal with an incredible challenge. He was born with one paw facing the wrong way and at only a matter of weeks old, has had to struggle through an immense amount of invasive treatments and operations.
Monty is a fighter like so many of you I know read this blog!
Let's not give up, no matter what is thrown our way- and today for me that has been hearing details of what having a baby whilst on my morphine, may actually mean for the child I may be bringing into this world.
I will elaborate upon this consultation tomorrow; however now it is 00.47am and I am desperately in need my bed!
Sleep tight everyone- until tomorrow...
 The wonderful Monty- http://www.irishretrieverrescue.com/2011pros/grant.html

Monday, 14 November 2011

The Problem With Pacing

I hope that this post finds you well this Monday lunchtime & I hope that you enjoyed a wonderful, full, yet reflective Remembrance Weekend.
As expected, with a weekend made up of a very dear friend's wedding, along with a family birthday and Remembrance service, all coupled together with a long drive, boat journey & subsequent increased morphine intake- I have found myself this morning, completely confined to my bed in immense neurological pain & feeling under attack from my enemies Mr Migraine & Mr Fatigue.
There is NO doubt that the above was worth the price of pain that I have to 'coff up' each time that I want to 'step' outside my routine of doing very little physically, & avoiding sitting upright in my wheelchair for any length of time; but naturally, when my pain hits the soring heights that it so often does after such exploits, I wonder why I do this to myself?
In my lucid moments, the answer to this question is very clear- because I need a life. I NEED the highs to keep me going through the lows of being confined to bed. However, later today I have to sit in front of my 'shrink' and discuss my week, hour by hour, in her attempt to reign me in from my roller coaster life of living for the moment and paying for it afterwards- in the hope that together we will crack this tricky issue of pacing!
I anxiously anticipate this afternoon's appointment, as I know that I am going to receive a reprimanding for not sticking to the schedule that we wrote out a week ago; but as I explained to her last week- I never know when my pain is going to dictate that I am going to have to take extra morphine, which will then render me articulately useless and incapable of doing the personal admin or blog writing that was scheduled for that period in time.
Living a life dictated by chronic pain is frustrating to say the least and it requires it's victims to be flexible and easy upon themselves if they are unable to do planned tasks.
 Breakthrough? Perhaps I have hit a pivotal moment- the latter is a point that has been stressed to me by my shrink, along with many others for some time now. That I should not be hard on myself when tasks fail because of circumstances out of my control.
I have for long time, ( and to some degree still feel if I'm honest!), been hard on myself and at times become very depressed because of this.
The fact that I have just written, (whilst in mid-flow), that I should be less hard on myself- may suggest that the message is finally getting through to my brain and heart!
On that reasonably positive note, I am off to receive said 'telling-off'!
Until tomorrow folks, enjoy the rest of your Monday 14th November 2011- remember, you'll never get another, so appreciate it the best that you can!