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Wednesday, 21 September 2011

Reason to Smile- Facing One's Fears

Evening folks, I hope that you are well.
Apologies for this being yet another 'brief one', but I suppose that these shorter posts balance out the epic essays of rambling drivel that I so often subject you to!

Well, my day has been an unusual one for me that's for sure. After five years of a depressing unrelenting combination of bed, sofa, pain and an unhealthy connection to This Morning- today, I Karen Reader attended a meeting of all things! Quite bizarre and surprising I know!
Although I can't share any details of quite what this meeting was about; I can share with you just how intimidating it felt to be out of my comfort zone of PJs and slippers and to be sat at a conference table describing to sixteen people that I've never met- who I am and just what I am planning to achieve.
Despite my days working in the theatre, performing in front of countless people and choreographing and producing shows by myself- after five years of spending my time talking solely to a Golden Retriever throughout my days, (not to forget a tired and drained husband post work hours)- when it came to bringing myself to speak in front of fifteen fellow human beings- who at the end of the day, all have insecurities of their own like me, (and as my good old Nan used to say- all have to sit upon the 'thrown' whomever they may be!)- to simply open my mouth and form words, I felt huge anxiety and panic bubble in my throat to the point that I thought my voice may crack and wobble and ruin my chances of coming cross well!
Thankfully I composed myself and managed to get through my introduction without any 'snap, crackle or wobble', and finally escaped from the boardroom unscathed from any dragon's fiery breath or Sugar's humiliating put-downs. As it happened, I in fact got away with more than just my skin and actually went away from the meeting with increased confidence and of a feeling of wanting to continue to motivate myself to tackle scary scenarios head on in future; as despite a five year stop gap from the land of the living, I have come to realise that the twenty three years of life that I accrued prior to my accident, are not wasted and in fact still stand me in good stead for the future.
 The five important years that I have spent between becoming disabled and finally being physically able to start living my life again, have also been so incredibly important, as they have seen me learn so much about myself, along with the characters of those around me who have also suffered and struggled to adapt to this challenge in life.
I feel that I have learned more in this time than I did in those able bodied years previous.
Facing my fears of presenting myself as a respectable and credible person infront of those who may posess more knowledge and authority than me- is the thing that has made me smile today.
Six years ago I left what was comfortable and safe to me, to embark upon a journey into a world that I knew nothing about. The result of that leap of faith was a wonderful career, flying around the world, staying in five star hotels in counties that I had never even dreamed that I would ever have the opportunity to visit and being paid to do so!
Diving into the daunting unknown is so often fruitful and if it doesn't end up being so, then we at least learn valuable lessons about ourselves from our failures or short falls and are strengthened by the knowledge that we can take difficult steps whatever the consequences.

What has made you smile today? Please share on Twitter #ReasonToSmile or on our Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002588247268#!/profile.php?id=100002588247268
Please also share with us any stories of scary steps that you have taken- be them successful or otherwise. These endeavours and how we cope with their outcomes are what shape us as people.

Well, as ever my 'brief one', has turned out to be of reasonable length in the end after all- what a shocker!On that note, I will stop here and at 1.47am say goodnight and God bless to every one of you.

Try and do something that scares you today. In my view it is worth it whatever the consequences.
Night night everyone.

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